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I am a blacksmith like my father was.
I bear his name with pride,
Yet this path is my own.
A path people are afraid of,
One beyond their little world.

Eyes have gathered around me.
Some because of admiration,
Some think I've lost my mind.

Iron glowed within the furnace,
Red and warm, just like my heart,
Prisoner in a cage of stone.

My bare hand reached into the flames,
Freeing this inert mass of its burning lair.

A swift glance at the afternoon sun
Before the hammer fell.
The detonation rushed through the hills,
Swarms of crows elevated from the forests.

The hammer lay silently.
Only my breathing broke the quiet.
The eyes came closer.

A heartbeat emerged from under the hammer.
It was done. I eventually had defeated fate,
This living piece of metal was the proof.
It never stopped beating.

I closed my eyes,
My knee hit the ground
And I smiled,
Impatient to forge again.
©2004-2009 ~passenger-nq
:iconpassenger-nq:

Author's Comments

Atriel and the trip to her place gave me huge amounts of inspiration. Such huge amounts, I first didn't manage to chose one topic to write about. Thanks to :devchiefeagle: for helping me out with that.

This poem is more about the trip to Atriel's place than about her. It's about what I achieved with this trip and how it affected people around me and myself of course.

It's pretty metaphorical, so don't expect to understand everything, you'll need a lot of background knowledge. Think of every sentence as a hint and you might see the whole poem. Enjoy and please tell me what you think.

This might be the start of a series. i'll have to sort thoughts out in my head first though.

Comments


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:iconvampbabe:
Some exquisite imagery here... which is the beauty of words and how they can create a world of their own. Great job.

--
------ VampBabe ------

Visitation Venue: [link]
Quote: "The only thing standing between me and my creativity is the stubborn logistics of my brain." 2004.
:iconotakunods:
I liked it the first time I read it. It is quiet amazing. I especially love the 5th stanza. I think I understand part of it but maybe you can note me and explain the poem to me.

--
A good friend is someone who will bail you out of jail. Your best friend is the person sitting next to you in the cell saying: "Man that was great..."

"You only have to outrun your slowest friend..."
:iconchiefeagle02:
What made me :+fav: this is the imagery in this poem. You did an excellent job! I think I know what you were trying to say. Excellent work! The imagery and emotion are awesome. I'm sure Atriel would love it. Good job. :clap:

--
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**Please Send Me A Note If You Add Any**
:iconpassenger-nq:
thanks, glad you like it. i'll note you right away :ninja:
:iconpassenger-nq:
thanks mate, without your help, i probably wouldn't have been able to write it.
:icongreenie:
thats a really interesting metaphor :o

great job....I now have to try figure out all the meanings ;)

--
Break free from your deviantart addiction >_>
:iconpassenger-nq:
thanks mate, glad you like it.

i'm afraid you won't be able to find out everything though, even my sister-in-law didn't =D
:iconschmitt:
also ich glaube ich weiß es nicht so richtig..vielleicht komme ich noch dahinter!

du meintest zu mir das dich viele für verrückt gehalten haben da alleine hinzufliegen, beschreibst du das im ersten absatz?

wie dem auch sei..sehr schön geschrieben..ich finde es ist nicht besonders konkret...also auch ohne dich zu kennen und es irgendwo zu lesen..man würde sich auf jeden fall seine gedanken machen :thumbsup:

--
Der folgende Satz ist eine Lüge.
Der vorige Satz ist wahr.
:iconwandringthunderstorm:
I'm not sure what you're getting at, really...but as a stand-alone piece, no background involved, it has excellent imagery and the metaphor it just...wow. I love it! :+favlove:

--
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KAI!

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October 14, 2004
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